Post-op update

 I have to say, I am very, very relieved to be done with surgery!  And the GREAT news is that my pathology report came back and my lymph nodes showed no sign of cancer, and the margins were totally clear.  This means that 1) the cancer was confined to the tumor and didn't move on to any other place in my body, 2) I (more than likely) won't have to undergo a second type of chemo treatments (which I would have if there was lymph node involvement), and 3) they won't have to go back in to take more lymph nodes or take more tissue from the tumor area.  So it's the best possible result . . . a lot of prayers have paid off.

The surgery itself wasn't too bad.  I was a little nervous about it, but I kept telling myself that it was just a "procedure," so that it wasn't as daunting.  Charlie got up with me about 4:50am so that I could eat a light breakfast, and we stayed up until about 6am so that I could drink clear liquids for as long as possible.  We went back to bed but I doubt I got more than about 20 minutes of sleep.  We left for the hospital around 10am, checked in a few minutes before 11am and they came and got me right at 11am on the dot.  I changed into my very attractive hospital gown and booties, got my IV and the radioactive tracer injections and chatted with my mom, Charlie, and the parade of nurses and doctors who came in to check on me until a little after noon.  This IV was SO much better than my first one -- I need to request a comfortable hospital bed for my future IVs, because I think that was did the trick.

The anesthesiologist warned me that they weren't going to give me anything to relax me before going into surgery which is not exactly what I wanted to hear, but it ended up being kind of neat.  I joked with the anesthesia nurse on the way to the operating room and got a non-drugged up view of at least part of what goes on pre-surgery.  My name and birthdate were checked several times, they helped me onto the operating table,  put massage boots on my calves to keep my circulation going and prevent blood clots, and started getting my arms ready.  I'm sure they could tell I was nervous, so the anesthesia nurse was really nice and talked me through everything they were doing, and the surgery resident I met earlier reassuringly patted my arm a few times.  Before they knocked me out, I made sure to show everyone the "not me" Charlie wrote on my "good side," just to make sure everyone was on the same page, which got a good laugh.  Once they got me hooked up to the oxygen with the sedatives I was out like a light, and woke up in the recovery room.  The last thing I remember in the operating room was thanking everyone for taking such good care of me.

In the recovery room, the nurse went and got Charlie when I was awake and he helped me drink water and ginger ale.  I was already starving before surgery and couldn't get the thought of a turkey club sandwich out of my head, but for some reason all they give you in recovery is Satines and graham crackers.  Weird.  I stayed in the recovery room for about an hour before I felt ready to get up and change into my clothes and hit the road.  I was determined to walk down to the lobby, but that determination quickly waned when I got out of bed and I have a sneaking suspicion the nurses would have nothing of it.  I can't tell you much about the drive back to the Goughs' house because I slept on Charlie's lap the whole ride.

I had to leave the dressing on both incisions for a full 48 hours, which meant no showering, and Nurse Julie and Nurse Mary Margaret did not allow any cheating.  Now that the dressing is off, the incisions are both about 3" long and the stitches are covered by steri strips, which should fall off on their own in another week or so.

I have some numbness on the back of my arm (which is probably due to swelling in the lymph node area), some swelling and some pain/discomfort, but the biggest result of all of this is the fatigue.  I didn't expect it since I didn't have general anesthesia, but I am exhausted all the time.  Going back to work this week is definitely going to be a transition.

Through all of this, I have realized that I am so incredibly lucky.  No, I take that back.  Not lucky, blessed.  As Charlie's dad pointed out, ever since the diagnosis we've gotten nothing but good news.  On top of that, I have THE BEST family and friends.  The outpouring of love and support has been so humbling and ovewhelming and I can't begin to find the words to express just how much the prayers and kind words and sweet gifts mean to me.  Thank you.



Custom shirt from my sweet sister




Shirts my sister had made for my family in NM



Just in case!



Cute hospital gowns?  Not quite.



  

Being wheeled into the OR -- let's do this!

Recovery room
















A+ service (post-surgery) ... I vaguely remember asking to be fed grapes next.





Today is the day

Surgery day!  Don't let the exclamation point fool you -- I am not excited about this, but very, very ready to get this over with.  I am so glad that I decided to go with the lumpectomy because this way I have the benefit of being able to tell myself that it's not as much surgery as it is a procedure.  No general anesthesia, (hopefully) no heavy duty painkillers, no overnight stay in the hospital.  All good things! 

I had my 5am light breakfast and 6am clear liquids.  I check into 6th floor surgery unit at 11am and surgery is at 12:30pm.  Surgery itself will take 2 hours and I get 2 hours in the recovery room before heading home.  I don't know much of what to expect after surgery other than knowing that I'm going to be out of it, tired, and probably pretty uncomfortable.  Lucky for me I have Charlie, my mom, Julie and Mary Margaret to take extra good care of me.

Thanks everyone for your well wishes and prayers.  See you on the other side!

Special cookies from Christy and Caitlin

Surgery decision (finally) -- check!

After much inner debate and agonizing, the decision has indeed been made: lumpectomy!  Which probably surprised my plastic surgeon since as of this morning I was set on doing the mastectomy+reconstruction.  After meeting with Dr. Khan again and having some serious questions about how I would handle the night in the hospital and 2 week recovery, I feel 100% confident in my decision.

The benefits of lumpectomy are many: much less invasive surgery (2 hours versus 4+ hours), much shorter recovery (days versus weeks), local anesthesia (versus general), outpatient (versus overnight in the hospital).  The one minor drawback is that I will have to do 4-5 weeks of radiation, but the only side affect of radiation is eventual fatigue, which is very, very doable. 

They will also do what they call a sentinal node dissection, which involves Dr. Khan injecting a tracer into the surrounding tissue, and finding which lymph nodes drain the tracer first, then sending those off to the pathologist to determine whether they contain any cancer cells.  There is a 10-15% chance they will have to go back in if 3 or more of those nodes test positive.  Fingers crossed I am in that 85-90% lucky ducks group!

I did learn today that I can expect AC (adriamycin & cytoxin) for sure, and possibly T (taxane) if there is lymph node involvement.  Chemo will start approximately 4 weeks after surgery, and I have been warned that I won't feel great.  And in doing a quick search on AC alone, I need to brace myself for becoming a baldy (which is pretty unfortunate because I have a weird shaped noggin -- sorry, folks).  I don't have the heart to read about what to expect from the T quite yet and am hoping that I won't ever have to worry about it.

I feel great and am handling all of this pretty well, if I do say so myself.  That being said, I know I will have good days and bad days going forward.  Regardless, any prayers and/or positive thoughts you don't mind sending my way (and Charlie's and my family's way) will be more appreciated than you can know.

Hey cancer -- you don't scare US!

Medical updates

Today is July 7th, and surgery didn't happen today.  We decided it would be best to consult with a plastic surgeon before surgery to be able to fully consider the options.  Surgery is now scheduled for August 2. 

My plastic sugery consultation is July 14.  I keep going back and forth between the mastectomy + reconstruction and the lumpectomy.  Decisions, decisions.

The BIG good news, though, is ... NO GENE MUTATION!  Wahoo!  The BRCA mutation would have put me at a drastially higher risk of future breast cancer over time, and would have also meant that my family members would also have the possibility of that same high risk.  So now the double mastectomy is off the table (thank goodness) and we can sleep a little easier at night knowing that this whole thing is just a fluke.

I'm feeling a bit rebellious in response to the estrogen/progesterone-positive results from a week or two back -- I don't want to do the hormone therapy, and I'm also not so interested in chemo, either.  Charlie keeps reminding me that the most important objective for us right now is making sure that I'm ok.  We're just going to have to wait and see how this whole thing plays out.

Oh, and we also got our first "bill" today -- $4100 for the genetic test!  Luckily our amount was $0.  Gotta love good health insurance.  Now Charlie really can say that I'm expensive, even if we aren't picking up the bill for all of this.