The Beginning

June 16, 2011, the day it all started.

I've had a history of benign masses, so I didn't worry too much about one as it got bigger.  I was also busy being a newlywed and seriously busy with work, so having what I assumed was another non-issue checked out was not a big priority.  I finally made an appointment with my new PCP who referred me for an ultrasound to make sure it was nothing.  On Tuesday I went for my ultrasound assuming that it would take 20 minutes and I would be on my way to work.  Unfortunately the ultrasound led to a mammogram which led to a biopsy.  I am very blessed that I was able to have a biopsy that same day because it normally takes about 2 weeks to get in.  Dr. Kovalsky, the radiologist at St. Mary's, was incredibly nice and though me looked concerned the whole time I was getting prodded and poked I assured myself that it was simply a precaution.  The radiology tech, who was also incredibly nice and held my hand through the biopsy, told me that I should get the results back in 2-3 business days.

The next morning at 9am on the dot I got a voicemail from my PCP informing me that she was out of the office that day but asking me to come in on Thursday to discuss my results.  She too sounded concerned, and though I did my best to assure myself that it was, again, precuationary, I was starting to get pretty nervous. Needless to say I didn't get a whole lot of work done that day.  Charlie was in the thick of trial prep and I had a Cubs game with the firm on Thursday night, but we both decided to bail on our plans to spend some time together before going in the discuss my results the next morning.  We've talked several times about what a great decision it was -- it was a great night.  Take-out Thai food, cocktails, and The King's Speech was perfect.

On Thursday we met with my PCP, Dr. Patricio.  She looked like she was about to cry when she said, "I'm so sorry, but it's malignant."  She handed us the pathology report, a list of surgeons and oncologists, and told us a little bit of what to expect in the coming days.  I can't say I remember a lot of what she said.  Thank God Charlie was there because I was definitely in a daze and not absorbing a lot of what was happening.

The rest Thursday Charlie was on the phone with friends, family, doctors, hospitals, and insurance companies.  This allowed me to veg out, look at facebook, and generally not think about the blow I was just dealt.  After a good deal of research and discussion, we scheduled an appointment with an oncological surgeon at Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago for Monday, June 20.  Friday we picked up records, pathology and radiology from St. Mary's and dropped them off at Northwestern for the doctors to review before my appointment.

At this point ony a few people know about it and honestly it's been nice living in a bubble and having some semblance of "normal."  People at work have been incredibly supportive and understanding, the few family and friends who know have been amazing.  I know life is going to change dramatically once we find out what I'm facing when we meet with the surgeon tomorrow.  I'm nervous about all of the things we don't know at this point, but if there's one thing I DO know now, it's that I'm going to fight like crazy to beat this.