Back to reality

Having cancer, as it turns out, is weird.  Especially when statistically you shouldn't have it.  When I was first diagnosed I just assumed I would take a leave of absence from work and it would consume the next few months of my life.  But I've learned that life goes on: I'm going to continue working as much as possible (my goal is to still make my billable hours requirement for the year!), cancer doesn't dominate most of my conversations, I still (am supposed) to work out, etc.  In a lot of ways it's easy to feel like life is totally normal, but going back to work this week has made me realize that in some ways my life is quite different.  I worked 6 hours yesterday instead of 12.  Today I was a nervous wreck in a deposition because I had to "ignore" a call from a number that I could only assume was from a hospital (it seems that all of the 312 numbers I don't recognize are all from hospitals these days).  I also got the receptor test results back today, so I was distracted all day thinking about the consequences.  The adjustment back to work has been tougher than I thought it would be, mostly because it never occurred to me there would be a transition back. 

So the test results ... from what I understand, whatever the tumor tests positive for is basically what is fueling the growth of the tumor.  They test for estrogen, progesterone, and something call Her2.  Mine tested positive for estrogen and progesterone and negative for Her2.  It turns out this is both good and bad; good because it means that there are well-established treatments for my particular type of tumor that are extremely effective and make recurrence/new cancer much less likely.  BUT those same treatments equal bad news for having a family.

I think I've handled this whole thing pretty well, in no small part because of my amazing supportive family and friends, but the prospect of possibly not having kids of my own is a scary one.  I likely won't meet with my oncologist until mid-August, but I'm looking forward to having a better understanding of what in the world all of this means!

Late night working/blogging in these cute socks I forgot I had :)

This is one of the favorite cards I've received ... I have a very crafty sister!

This is another favorite.  It recounted a very funny lunch involving a law school professor and a squirrel.  Laughing ensued.

Also, thanks to James Dougherty, computer extraordinaire, I think I've fixed the commenting problem.  Let me know if you still having problems.